cosmo tip #696

expertcosmotips:

if a guy buys you a bunch of drinks and then expects you to have sex with him you can just give him back the drinks by puking into his lap

(Source: jhsaucedo, via obscurus-nox)

softerworld:

A Softer World: 1147
(burning cities melt hearts)
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softerworld:

A Softer World: 1147

(burning cities melt hearts)

buy this print • support our Patreon

"When you sense someone might be about to mug you, mug them first: Don’t be afraid to take action. If someone seems like they might be following you, pull a gun on that person and steal their valuables. This will send a clear message to the potential mugger and decrease your chances of getting mugged."

Absolutely Everything You Need To Know To Avoid Being Mugged (via david)

(Source: clickholeofficial, via tastefullyoffensive)

(Source: iraffiruse)

urbanmongoose:


Normal cats shake their butt when they’re about to pounce on something. Polly shakes her head.

urbanmongoose:

Normal cats shake their butt when they’re about to pounce on something. Polly shakes her head.

(via tastefullyoffensive)

(via togifs)

(Source: drenge, via tastefullyoffensive)

(Source: iraffiruse)

(Source: catonthebeach, via togifs)

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

the-rogue-0f-light:

conquerorwurm:

seifukucat:

can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person

Is this a comic? This should be a comic.

"no stupid, oh my god. no just… just turn… fuck. don’t wander over there, you’re gonna fall down the… aaand there he goes………….. moron.”

(via tantedrago)

breadonly:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

image

angry90slesbian

I think I speak for the entire class when I say I would really like to hear that story

(via supermunchor)

urlcritic:

i’d rather eat a salad than go to school 

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer

(Source: the-pietriarchy, via cindymayweather)