supnoah:

do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut the fuck up even when they aren’t talking

(via baddeststudpapi)

sharingneedles:

i love birthdays they’re so motivational like if i can manage to keep myself alive for another year ill get money and cake

juliettebrioche:

when you see a map or a family tree at the front of a novel you know that shit is gonna get complicated

xehyun:

xehyun:

if someone calls you a slut, break their fucking neck without even hesitating or saying a single word and as they lay there on the ground dead, lean down close to their corpse and whisper

slut means the end in swedish

this is the most popular post i’ve ever made and its still fuckin going and i am GLAD

(Source: hideiwa, via moonwalksaway)

porrim-some-sugar-on-me:

lock-lamora:

duhpercy:

ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM

Use the men’s room they won’t expect it

'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'

(via kaeandlucy)

ohhenryd:

thatpunnyguy:

snazziest:

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

(via skinjacket)

whoredinarygirl:

anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”

encephalopathy:

urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions

(Source: franklotions, via greetings)

apollogizing:

if lucifer needs someones consent to enter their body then so do you

stuning:

poopflow:

maliciousmelons:

imagine if they named a disease after your url

oh god

i think i have my disease ://

masserror:

theatrefetish:

thegirlwithkittyears:

thegirlwithkittyears:

people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with

jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying

7:00 P.M.

AS IN THE FUCKING TIME

I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused

"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”

(Source: j0ye, via laughtime)

iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

(via mishasminions)

evilhag:

not a drama queen, a drama khaleesi

(via akacara)

cknd:

Dreams would be much more fun if they were multi-player servers that other sleeping people could join.

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

metalhearted:

today is the oldest you’ve ever been
and the youngest you’ll ever be again

let that sink in

what the fuck does it want now
image

(via thedailylaughs)